Trump’s a Nazi Sympathizer? That’s Right. ALT-RIGHT.

(New York, NY — August 15, 2017) – Dogged by allegations that he didn’t speak out forcefully enough against the country’s agents of evil and domestic terrorism, Chancellor Squirrelhead gave an impromptu press conference in Trump Tower today. And proceeded to hang himself by his own tongue. Flanked by Secretary of Transportation Elaine Chao and…

For Education Secretary, Basic Math Adds Up to Cabinet Post

(Washington, DC — February 8, 2017) – With the confirmation of Betsy DeVos as Secretary of Education, sane Americans today attempted to come to grips with the death of the American public education system. Apparently, $200,000,000 in political donations does buy you something. On a 51-50 vote, the Senate confirmed Donald Trump’s (R-NY) Secretary of…

Trump Innocent – Yes, Innocent – of Latest Accusations

(Arlington, VA — October 4, 2016) – The words “Donald Trump” and “innocent” have likely never been used in the same sentence since the GOP presidential candidate from New York declared his candidacy on June 16, 2015. There’s a first time for everything. Squirrelhead Donald was accused of belittling psychological disorders – specifically, the mental…

Giuliani Unhinged: Dishonor for Hizzoner

(New York, NY — October 3, 2016) – Multiple Republicans continue to defend presidential candidate Donald Trump (R-NY), proving the Orange Menace is not alone in making outrageous, unsubstantiated claims which stretch the bounds of imagination and credibility. While speaking with ABC’s George Snuffleupagus on October 2, former New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani (R-NY) channeled…

Reince Priebus “Livid” at Trump – But Still Supports Him

(Washington, DC — August 3, 2016) – After days of negative news cycles regarding his party’s presidential candidate, Republican National Committee Chairman Reince Priebus is said to be livid. Like he has a choice. The negative news cycle has been in full swing since last Thursday, when Khizr Khan, father of slain Army Captain Humayun…

The King of Con Unleashes the Wrath of Khan

(Washington, DC — August 2, 2016) – At the Democratic National Convention on July 28, Khizr Khan addressed the gathering with a poignant and heartfelt speech. And had Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump (R-NY) kept his mouth shut, Khan would have had five minutes of fame. But Squirrelhead Donald can’t keep his mouth shut, so…

Donald Trump, Nobody’s Hero

(Washington, DC — July 20, 2015) – Continuing to speak from the lump of coal he calls a heart, presidential candidate Donald Trump (R-NY) successfully alienated another large group of potential voters on July 18. After offending every Hispanic on the planet by referring to Mexicans as “rapists” and “criminals,” Trump insulted Senator John McCain…