Trump’s Top Advisors Represent the Cream of the Racist Crop

(New York, NY — November 17, 2016) – One might think the surprises would have ended a week ago with the declaration of Donald Trump (R-NY) as President-Elect of the United States. As Squirrelhead Donald would say: “WRONG!” As his cabinet takes shape – in spite of spirited infighting and purging – it seems that…

Squirrelhead Donald Chews the Fat with a Side of Misogyny

(New York, NY — October 4, 2016) – There’s no shortage in Donald Trump’s (R-NY) Bag-O-Insults, but people with weight problems – or perceived weight problems – appear to have borne the brunt of Squirrelhead Donald’s wrath over the past two weeks. The current string of insults began during the first presidential debate on September…

Giuliani Unhinged: Dishonor for Hizzoner

(New York, NY — October 3, 2016) – Multiple Republicans continue to defend presidential candidate Donald Trump (R-NY), proving the Orange Menace is not alone in making outrageous, unsubstantiated claims which stretch the bounds of imagination and credibility. While speaking with ABC’s George Snuffleupagus on October 2, former New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani (R-NY) channeled…

A Tremendous Winner from the Presidential Debate

(Hempstead, NY — September 28, 2016) – The reviews are in from Monday night’s presidential debate at Hofstra University, and conventional wisdom shows Hillary Clinton (D-NY) demolished Donald Trump (R-NY). But it turns out that betting on “conventional wisdom” may not always be wise. Squirrelhead Donald and his loyal sycophants – ranging from Chris Christie…

Giuliani: “September 11? What’s September 11?”

(New York, NY — August 15, 2016) – The man who became famous for walking around and mumbling “9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11” has now denied that the September 11 attacks ever happened. Psychiatrists and psychologists are now assessing who’s more insane, Rudy “9/11” Giuliani (R-NY) or presidential candidate…

2009 – End of an Error: FLATLINE Locates Original Version of President’s Farewell Address

(Washington, DC — January 15, 2009) – My fellow Armenians, For eight years, it has been my honor to serve as your President. I realize that I was only elected to serve four of them, but be honest, in retrospect, did you REALLY want Al Gore with his “lockbox” nonsense to live in the White…