Trump Uses Electoral College to Combat Anti-Semitism

(Washington, DC — February 15, 2017) – At today’s press conference, standing side-by-side with Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, Donald Trump (R-NY) made two very important policy statements. Oy vey. Regarding the issue of peace in the Middle East, and specifically between Israelis and Palestinians, Chancellor Squirrelhead chose to eschew the two-state solution – a…

Address the Gall

(West Palm Beach, FL — February 14, 2017) – On June 23, 2015, candidate Donald Trump (R-NY) rejected the notion of vacations, should he win the White House: “I would rarely leave the White House because there’s so much work to be done. I would not be a president who took vacations. I would not…

Thanksgiving Greetings Show Some Federal Agencies are Real Turkeys

(Washington, DC — November 24, 2016) – Federal agencies scrambled this week to post messages of cheer and warmth regarding today’s Thanksgiving holiday. Many even sent out messages via LISTSERVs to further spread their positive messages. But it turns out that “safety” this holiday season isn’t for everyone. An anonymous Federal agency, sending out greetings…

Beating Around the Bush

(Miami, FL — June 15, 2015) – Bush 41 (George H.W. Bush). Bush 43 (George W. “Shrub” Bush). Could there be a Bush 45 in the country’s future? Banking on the notorious short-term memories of average, ordinary, everyday Americans, Bush (R-FL) today announced his candidacy for President of the United States. “He should have announced…

Once More Unto the Data Breach

(Washington, DC — June 5, 2015) – Bruce Jenner’s transition to Caitlyn Jenner has been knocked off the front page of major newspapers. And it only took a massive hack attack to do it. The Federal government’s Office of Personnel Management (OPM) announced a massive data breach yesterday, compromising the Personally Identifiable Information (PII) of…

Jindal Ignores Legislature, Pushes Discrimination

(Baton Rouge, LA — May 20, 2015) – Not wanting to become the next state facing boycotts due to its stance on religious freedom, Louisiana’s legislators yesterday killed a religious-objections bill that could have been used to discriminate against gays and lesbians. Unfazed, Governor Bobby Jindal (R-LA) quickly issued an Executive Order to override the…

NRC’s Burning Question Answered: Burns Gets the Chair

(Rockville, MD — January 1, 2015) – Rational average, ordinary, everyday Americans would agree that certainty and stability is needed in the nuclear power arena. They would agree that having a level of calm efficiency is essential at the Nuclear Regulatory Commission (NRC), the agency responsible for regulating the nation’s civilian nuclear program. They would…