TREASON! Chancellor Squirrelhead Puckers Up for Perestroika Putie’s Patootie

(Helsinki, Finland — July 16, 2018) – After rupturing the NATO alliance, and after destroying the alliance between the United States and the United Kingdom, many expected Chancellor Squirrelhead to cozy up to Russia’s Perestroika Putie, thus hitting a trifecta. Mission Accomplished. In reality, anyone could have seen this coming from a mile away. At…

Henpecked

(Lexington, VA — June 26, 2018) – The country’s Trumpist Brownshirts are continuing to exhibit their faux outrage regarding one of their own being turned away from a place of business based on moral conviction. Looks like lots of black pots are being called out this week. Republicans in the legislative branch continued to come…

Trump’s Minions of Mephistopheles Dismiss Charlottesville Massacre

(New York, NY — August 15, 2017) – Chancellor Squirrelhead’s mindless agents of evil today attempted to play down Saturday’s slaughter in Charlottesville by insisting it wasn’t all that bad. Tell that to Heather Heyer. Heyer, a 32-year-old paralegal from Charlottesville attending the white supremacist “Unite the Right” rally as a counter-protester, was mowed down…

Trump Taunts Troopers

(Charlottesville, VA — August 14, 2017) – Chancellor Squirrelhead broke his silence today over Saturday’s massacre at the white supremacist “Unite the Right” rally in Charlottesville (VA). Maybe he should have just kept his covfefeing mouth shut. Today’s statement addressed the sacrifice of the two Virginia State Patrol troopers who gave their lives in trying…

Trump on Charlottesville: “What’s All the Führer?”

(Charlottesville, VA — August 14, 2017) – The winds of Chancellor Squirrelhead’s self-inflicted firestorm took an abrupt change in direction over the past few days, shifting from North Korea and Guam to Charlottesville (VA). And it doesn’t look like the flames will die down anytime soon. Chancellor Squirrelhead remained mostly silent in the days following…

Trump Uses Electoral College to Combat Anti-Semitism

(Washington, DC — February 15, 2017) – At today’s press conference, standing side-by-side with Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, Donald Trump (R-NY) made two very important policy statements. Oy vey. Regarding the issue of peace in the Middle East, and specifically between Israelis and Palestinians, Chancellor Squirrelhead chose to eschew the two-state solution – a…

Monday Night Massacre

(Washington, DC — January 31, 2017) – Channeling President Richard Nixon (R-CA), Donald Trump (R-NY) fired Acting Attorney General Sally Yates last night. Meet the new crook, same as the old crook. On October 20, 1973, Nixon, neck-deep in the Watergate scandal, ordered the firing of Watergate Special Prosecutor Archibald Cox, who was acting against…