Illegitimate SCOTUS Derby Ramps Up to a Full Gallop

(Washington, DC – July 9, 2018) — In a made-for-TV event rivaling LeBron James’ classless “The Decision” from July 8, 2010, Chancellor Squirrelhead will announce his pick to replace the retiring Supreme Court justice Anthony M. Kennedy tonight at 9:00pm ET. The announcement will represent one more step in Chancellor Squirrelhead’s dismantling of the nation,…

Trump Gives Transgender Soldiers a One-Fingered Salute

(Washington, DC — July 26, 2017) – A man who has never served one day in the United States military – and received four draft deferments during the Vietnam War while 58,000 of his fellow citizens fought and died between 1956 and 1975 – decided today to exclude a segment of America’s population from the…

For Old Spicey, the Holocaust Was a Gas

(Washington, DC — April 11, 2017) – White House Press Secretary of the Week Sean Spicer today said that Adolf Hitler wasn’t quite as bad as Syrian President Bashar al-Assad. And he made this observation on Passover. Asshole. Old Spicey was referring to the April 4 attack by Droopy Dog on his own people; at…

Tremendouscare a Tremendous Problem for Republicans

(Washington, DC — March 8, 2017) – Less than 48 hours after releasing the American Health Care Act, the legislation meant to “repeal and replace” Obamacare is on life-support. And its prognosis is bleak. On March 6, Congressional Republicans cheerfully released Tremendouscare – named for one of Donald Trump’s (R-NY) trademark sayings – to the…

In the Oval Office, Sofa So Good

(Washington, DC — March 2, 2017) – An advisor to Donald Trump (R-NY) found a new way to demean, degrade, and dehumanize the Office of the President of the United States. Given everything that’s taken place since January 20, that’s saying something. On February 27, Chancellor Squirrelhead hosted the leaders from the country’s Historically Black Colleges…

Another Cryptic Message from Trump’s America

(Philadelphia, PA — February 27, 2017) – Cemetery vandalism and grave desecration is becoming a “norm” in this country. And for the second time in a week, the target was a Jewish cemetery. Just another bonus in Donald Trump’s (R-NY) America. Philadelphia’s Mount Carmel Cemetery had between 75 and 100 tombstones toppled on Saturday night.…

Many Happy Returns from Dachau Gate Thieves

(Dachau, Germany — February 22, 2017) – More than two years after its disappearance, an important piece of history related to the Holocaust has finally come home. The iron gate from Nazi Germany’s Dachau concentration camp – emblazoned with the slogan “Arbeit Macht Frei” (Work Will Set You Free) – was stolen on November 2,…