Chiefly Insane

(Kansas City, MO … or Kansas City, KS – February 6, 2020) – With their Super Bowl LIV victory parade behind them, the Kansas City Chiefs can now move on to their next order of business. Moving. On February 2, shortly after winning the Super Bowl by defeating the San Francisco 49ers 31-20, Chancellor Squirrelhead…

Illegitimate SCOTUS Derby Ramps Up to a Full Gallop

(Washington, DC – July 9, 2018) — In a made-for-TV event rivaling LeBron James’ classless “The Decision” from July 8, 2010, Chancellor Squirrelhead will announce his pick to replace the retiring Supreme Court justice Anthony M. Kennedy tonight at 9:00pm ET. The announcement will represent one more step in Chancellor Squirrelhead’s dismantling of the nation,…

Body-Slammer a Slam-Dunk for Montana COTUS Representative

(Bozeman, MT — May 26, 2017) – Congressional candidate Greg Gianforte (R-MT), 56, won the state’s special election for membership in the House of Representatives yesterday, beating back challenger Rob Quist (D-MT). But it wasn’t the drubbing Republicans had hoped for. The special election was called to replace Montana’s lone House member, Ryan Zinke (R-MT),…

FBI Director’s Firing Was a Long Time Comey-ing

(Washington, DC — May 10, 2017) – October 20, 1973, is known for the Saturday Night Massacre. Thanks to Donald Trump (R-NY), May 9, 2017, will forever be known as the Tuesday Night Massacre. On October 20, 1973, President Richard Nixon (R-CA), neck-deep in the Watergate scandal, ordered the firing of Watergate Special Prosecutor Archibald…

The Only Thing We Have to Fear is … Our Toasters?

(Washington, DC — March 14, 2017) – The Skeletal Kellyanne Conway opened another chapter in Wiretappgate on Sunday, offering a new theory about the scandal during an interview with the Bergen Record. And it’s doubtful that the Orange Menace could have come up with this one on his own – though it’s not impossible. On…

I Spy … A Paranoid Orange Menace

(Washington, DC — March 5, 2017) – Your illegitimate presidential administration is barely six weeks old. You find your handpicked staff producing scandal after scandal after scandal. What’s the best thing to do? Invent a new, totally fictitious scandal! Wiretappgate seems to be the latest installment of the Donald Trump (R-NY) Show, as Chancellor Squirrelhead…

In the Oval Office, Sofa So Good

(Washington, DC — March 2, 2017) – An advisor to Donald Trump (R-NY) found a new way to demean, degrade, and dehumanize the Office of the President of the United States. Given everything that’s taken place since January 20, that’s saying something. On February 27, Chancellor Squirrelhead hosted the leaders from the country’s Historically Black Colleges…

Trump’s Promises Short on Performance

(Washington, DC — February 20, 2017) – Donald Trump (R-NY) today marked one month of being the Leader of the Free World. That’s no more comforting than it was a month ago. For sane Americans, it seems like years ago that Squirrelhead Donald became Chancellor Squirrelhead, the first illegitimate President of the United States. “It’s…

National Insecurity

(Washington, DC — February 14, 2017) – Flynngate hit a fever pitch today following last night’s resignation of Michael Flynn as Donald Trump’s (R-NY) National Security Advisor after just 24 days on the job. And the mounting evidence shows him to be a real Flynn-Flan Man. Flynn had multiple contacts with Sergey Kislyak, the Russian…

Atlanta Burning

(Houston, TX — February 6, 2017) – The Atlanta Falcons suffered a 34-28 defeat yesterday at the hands of the New England Patriots in Super Bowl LI. It looks like Atlanta’s punishment is just beginning. The historic Super Bowl featured the greatest comeback in Super Bowl history (25 points; New England was down 28-3) as…