Body-Slammer a Slam-Dunk for Montana COTUS Representative

(Bozeman, MT — May 26, 2017) – Congressional candidate Greg Gianforte (R-MT), 56, won the state’s special election for membership in the House of Representatives yesterday, beating back challenger Rob Quist (D-MT). But it wasn’t the drubbing Republicans had hoped for. The special election was called to replace Montana’s lone House member, Ryan Zinke (R-MT),…

Mueller to Noodle Around Trump-Russia Connection

(Washington, DC — May 18, 2017) – Former Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) Director Robert Mueller III was named as a special counsel yesterday by Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein, tasked to investigate Russia’s collusion with Donald Trump (R-NY) and his associates, including but not limited to interference in the 2016 presidential election. Sane Americans…

Squirrelhead Blows Up Syria

(Washington, DC — April 7, 2017) – Facing a horrific attack by the Syrian government on its own citizens using banned chemical weapons, Donald Trump (R-NY) yesterday sent 59 Tomahawk cruise missiles into the war-torn country, deepening America’s involvement in Syria’s six-year-old civil war while practicing a level of hyperhypocrisy not previously seen in human…

Trump Slams Terror in Saint Petersburg – No, the Other One

(Saint Petersburg, Russia — April 3, 2017) – A shrapnel-filled explosive device detonated today between two train stations in Russia’s Saint Petersburg, killing 10 and wounding more than 30. True to form, Donald Trump (R-NY) took to Twitter to share his misinformed and inappropriate musings just hours after the blast. The attack occurred on a…

I Spy … A Paranoid Orange Menace

(Washington, DC — March 5, 2017) – Your illegitimate presidential administration is barely six weeks old. You find your handpicked staff producing scandal after scandal after scandal. What’s the best thing to do? Invent a new, totally fictitious scandal! Wiretappgate seems to be the latest installment of the Donald Trump (R-NY) Show, as Chancellor Squirrelhead…

Anti-Semitism a Grave Problem

(University City, MO — February 21, 2017) – Donald Trump (R-NY) today used the words “horrible” and “painful” to describe anti-Semitic violence, while at the same time evidence mounted that his Sicherheitspolizei – a branch of his Trumpist Brownshirts – were responsible for some of the same radical anti-Semitic terrorism he decried. The comments came…

Swedish Massaker

(Melbourne, FL — February 19, 2017) – Donald Trump (R-NY) chose this location to prove once again that he has the IQ of a meatball. A Swedish meatball. Yesterday’s Nuremberg rally – apparently Chancellor Squirrelhead is still in “campaign mode” – brought to light yet another massacre that’s now attributable to an administration in complete…