American Carnage Terminated Thanks to Trump

(Washington, DC — January 22, 2017) – During his inaugural address, Donald Trump (R-NY) referenced the country’s “American carnage” and declared that it would end. Immediately. Mission accomplished. His “American carnage” reference will likely be one of the most-remembered quotes in inaugural address history: “This American carnage stops right here and stops right now.” The…

First Inaugural Address of Chancellor Squirrelhead, Illegitimate POTUS

(Washington, DC — January 18, 2017) – The following is an advance copy of Donald Trump’s (R-NY) first inaugural address, which will be delivered to an audience of hundreds worldwide on January 20, 2017. It was obtained at great risk and at a great price; many Bothans died to bring us this information. My fellow…