Trump on Charlottesville: “What’s All the Führer?”

(Charlottesville, VA — August 14, 2017) – The winds of Chancellor Squirrelhead’s self-inflicted firestorm took an abrupt change in direction over the past few days, shifting from North Korea and Guam to Charlottesville (VA). And it doesn’t look like the flames will die down anytime soon. Chancellor Squirrelhead remained mostly silent in the days following…

D-Force – Coming Soon for an Immigrant Near You

(Washington, DC — February 18, 2017) – The Republican Flip-Flop Tour 2017 shows no sign of abating; if anything, it’s just now beginning to gather a full head of toxic steam. Both the Executive Branch (courtesy of Donald Trump (R-NY)) and Legislative Branch (courtesy of Paul Ryan (R-WI) and Mitch McConnell (R-KY)) are in full…

Trump’s New Plan: Embrace the Klan!

(Washington, DC — February 29, 2016) – As links between the Ku Klux Klan (KKK) and presidential candidate Donald Trump (R-NY) multiply, The Donald’s detractors are having a field day. So are pro-Klan Americans who don’t seem to mind that their chosen bigot is leading in multiple polls in multiple states leading up to tomorrow’s…

OPM Re-named as Second Data Breach Makes Feds Screech

(Washington, DC — July 10, 2015) – Swearing not to resign in the wake of revelations of a second data breach in as many months at the Office of Personnel Management (OPM), Director Katherine Archuleta did just that today. The first data breach, announced publicly on June 4, spilled the Personally Identifiable Information (PII) of…

Jindal Ignores Legislature, Pushes Discrimination

(Baton Rouge, LA — May 20, 2015) – Not wanting to become the next state facing boycotts due to its stance on religious freedom, Louisiana’s legislators yesterday killed a religious-objections bill that could have been used to discriminate against gays and lesbians. Unfazed, Governor Bobby Jindal (R-LA) quickly issued an Executive Order to override the…

2009 – End of an Error: FLATLINE Locates Original Version of President’s Farewell Address

(Washington, DC — January 15, 2009) – My fellow Armenians, For eight years, it has been my honor to serve as your President. I realize that I was only elected to serve four of them, but be honest, in retrospect, did you REALLY want Al Gore with his “lockbox” nonsense to live in the White…