Trump to Journalist: Plant Your Kippah-Wearing Keister

(Washington, DC — February 17, 2017) – At his press conference yesterday, Donald Trump (R-NY), went completely off the rails in claiming he is definitely, absolutely, positively not an anti-Semite. Bad news for Chancellor Squirrelhead: If you have to go out of your way to proclaim that you’re not an anti-Semite, it means you’re an…

Hate Still Great as Trump Administration Begins

(Cincinnati, OH — January 23, 2017) – During his inaugural address, Donald Trump (R-NY) spoke of “no fear” and putting “America first.” This apparently applies only to a select few of the 330,000,000 people living in the United States. For the rest of America’s citizenry, living under fear, thanks largely to Chancellor Squirrelhead’s major supporters…

The Bane of Our Existence

(Washington, DC — January 21, 2017) – The Republican Party got caught with its pants down – or, at least, Melania Trump’s pants – during the Republican National Convention, thanks to her acts of plagiarism. It looks like Republicans have learned nothing from that scandal. Melaniagate began on July 19 in Cleveland (temporarily known as…

A Plagiarist Calls out the Husband of a Plagiarist

(Atlanta, GA — August 1, 2016) – The campaign staff for Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump (R-NY) find themselves embroiled in another plagiarism-related controversy. But this time, it’s not due to anything any of his supporters or family members said or did. The campaign has yet to fully recover from Melaniagate, the scandal in which…

GOP Hijacking Secured, Trump Turns to Acceptance Speech

(July 20, 2016 — Nuremberg (formerly known as Cleveland), OH) – Republicans last night officially nominated Donald Trump (R-NY) as their candidate to be the country’s next President of the United States. For those who virulently oppose the alleged billionaire as their party’s standard-bearer, the whole episode caused quite a Führer. “We’re very happy that…

How’s It Going for Ryan in Cleveland? Just Terrible!

(July 18, 2016 — Nuremberg (formerly known as Cleveland), OH) – Given the fractured state of the Republican Party these days, above all else it needed its Republican National Convention to go off without a hitch. Speaker of the House Paul Ryan (R-WI) just shot that to hell. Standing in Cleveland’s Quicken Loans Arena, Eddie…

Profiles in Discouragement: Scott Baio

In honor of this week’s coronation of Donald Trump (R-NY) as the 2016 GOP candidate for POTUS Führer, FLATLINE is taking a look at some of the outstanding speakers and presenters at the Republican National Convention in Cleveland (temporarily re-named Nuremberg). (July 18, 2016 — Nuremberg (formerly known as Cleveland), OH) – Actor Scott Baio…