For Old Spicey, the Holocaust Was a Gas

(Washington, DC — April 11, 2017) – White House Press Secretary of the Week Sean Spicer today said that Adolf Hitler wasn’t quite as bad as Syrian President Bashar al-Assad. And he made this observation on Passover. Asshole. Old Spicey was referring to the April 4 attack by Droopy Dog on his own people; at…

Squirrelhead Blows Up Syria

(Washington, DC — April 7, 2017) – Facing a horrific attack by the Syrian government on its own citizens using banned chemical weapons, Donald Trump (R-NY) yesterday sent 59 Tomahawk cruise missiles into the war-torn country, deepening America’s involvement in Syria’s six-year-old civil war while practicing a level of hyperhypocrisy not previously seen in human…

Legislators Have a Beef with Nutritional Panel

(Washington, DC — February 20, 2015) – Going against Congressional wishes, a top national nutritional panel released a report urging Americans to steer clear of diets high in red meat, angering Congressmen in the process. Given that Congress says little about the plight of the nation’s poor and underserved, not to mention those Americans who…

Plessy v. Ferguson

(Ferguson, MO) – The images seen on televisions around the world for the past 12 days have been nothing short of incredible. Public executions. Angry mobs. Molotov cocktails. Armored vehicles. Tear gas. Pepper spray. Rubber bullets. Random shootings. Biological warfare. From which far away land are these scenes broadcast? Syria? Somalia? Iraq? Gaza? A GOP…

Syria Calls for Sanctions over Smallpox

(Damascus, Syria) – Faced with economic sanctions stemming from its civil war, and facing possible airstrikes from the United States, the Syrian government of President Bashar al-Assad agreed to the Framework for the Elimination of Syrian Chemical Weapons in September 2013. The ultimate goal of the Framework, negotiated with the United States and Russia, was…

White Powder Found Near Site of Super Bowl XLVIII

(Carlstadt, NJ) – Guests at several hotels near East Rutherford’s MetLife Stadium, the site of Sunday’s Super Bowl, reported finding “suspicious” white powder. Two of the hotels are located in Carlstadt; another is in East Rutherford; and a fourth is in Rutherford. Another sighting was reported at the Manhattan office of former New York Mayor…