Illegitimate SCOTUS Derby Ramps Up to a Full Gallop

(Washington, DC – July 9, 2018) — In a made-for-TV event rivaling LeBron James’ classless “The Decision” from July 8, 2010, Chancellor Squirrelhead will announce his pick to replace the retiring Supreme Court justice Anthony M. Kennedy tonight at 9:00pm ET. The announcement will represent one more step in Chancellor Squirrelhead’s dismantling of the nation,…

Trump Taunts Troopers

(Charlottesville, VA — August 14, 2017) – Chancellor Squirrelhead broke his silence today over Saturday’s massacre at the white supremacist “Unite the Right” rally in Charlottesville (VA). Maybe he should have just kept his covfefeing mouth shut. Today’s statement addressed the sacrifice of the two Virginia State Patrol troopers who gave their lives in trying…

Trump on Charlottesville: “What’s All the Führer?”

(Charlottesville, VA — August 14, 2017) – The winds of Chancellor Squirrelhead’s self-inflicted firestorm took an abrupt change in direction over the past few days, shifting from North Korea and Guam to Charlottesville (VA). And it doesn’t look like the flames will die down anytime soon. Chancellor Squirrelhead remained mostly silent in the days following…

GOP Obamacare Replacement Will Make America Sick Again

(Washington, DC — March 6, 2017) – Republicans today released the American Health Care Act, their long-awaited version of “repeal and replace” for Obamacare (aka Public Law 111-148 aka the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act aka the Affordable Care Act). And, as has been expected for nearly seven years, the American Health Care Act…

In the Oval Office, Sofa So Good

(Washington, DC — March 2, 2017) – An advisor to Donald Trump (R-NY) found a new way to demean, degrade, and dehumanize the Office of the President of the United States. Given everything that’s taken place since January 20, that’s saying something. On February 27, Chancellor Squirrelhead hosted the leaders from the country’s Historically Black Colleges…

Trump to Journalist: Plant Your Kippah-Wearing Keister

(Washington, DC — February 17, 2017) – At his press conference yesterday, Donald Trump (R-NY), went completely off the rails in claiming he is definitely, absolutely, positively not an anti-Semite. Bad news for Chancellor Squirrelhead: If you have to go out of your way to proclaim that you’re not an anti-Semite, it means you’re an…

Sitting Bull

(Washington, DC — February 12, 2017) – Donald Trump’s (R-NY) “Racist Moniker World Tour” shows no signs of slowing down, as the rodent-adorned bully took aim at an old yet familiar target this week. And in spite of the outrage, and in spite of the victim, he persisted. At a bipartisan Congressional luncheon on February…