“What About NATO?”

(Brussels, Belgium — July 11, 2018) – When being interviewed by Geraldo Rivera in 1988, former presidential candidate Charles Manson asked, “What about NATO?” Thirty years later, that’s what everyone is asking. Instead of doing the sensible thing and disinviting him, NATO heads of state gave a warm greeting to Chancellor Squirrelhead at this week’s…

Illegitimate SCOTUS Derby Ramps Up to a Full Gallop

(Washington, DC – July 9, 2018) — In a made-for-TV event rivaling LeBron James’ classless “The Decision” from July 8, 2010, Chancellor Squirrelhead will announce his pick to replace the retiring Supreme Court justice Anthony M. Kennedy tonight at 9:00pm ET. The announcement will represent one more step in Chancellor Squirrelhead’s dismantling of the nation,…

First Inaugural Address of Chancellor Squirrelhead, Illegitimate POTUS

(Washington, DC — January 18, 2017) – The following is an advance copy of Donald Trump’s (R-NY) first inaugural address, which will be delivered to an audience of hundreds worldwide on January 20, 2017. It was obtained at great risk and at a great price; many Bothans died to bring us this information. My fellow…

Congress to Build Trump’s Mexican “Great Wall” – and Make Americans Pay

(Washington, DC — January 6, 2017) – Throughout his presidential campaign, Donald Trump (R-NY) promised his legions of Trumpist Brownshirts that he would build a wall along America’s border with Mexico. Part of that promise included forcing Mexico to pay for its construction. To quote Rick Perry (R-TX): “Oops.” Congressional Republicans today began working on…

Donald Trump, Nobody’s Hero

(Washington, DC — July 20, 2015) – Continuing to speak from the lump of coal he calls a heart, presidential candidate Donald Trump (R-NY) successfully alienated another large group of potential voters on July 18. After offending every Hispanic on the planet by referring to Mexicans as “rapists” and “criminals,” Trump insulted Senator John McCain…

Thanksgiving “Humor” Cooks Roseanne’s Goose

(Washington, DC) – Thanksgiving is a time for family, a time for food, a time for coming together, a time for generosity, and a time for bedlam at department stores. Apparently, it’s also a time for celebrities to eat crow instead of turkey. “Comedian” Roseanne Barr tweeted a selfie yesterday showing her bruised and battered…