Trouble Brewing for Starbucks over Trump Immigration Crisis

(Seattle, WA — January 30, 2017) Donald Trump’s (R-NY) ban on immigrants is having far-reaching consequences, many of which likely were not anticipated when the edict was handed down on January 27. For some, it’s working them into a froth not unlike the one found on your favorite latte. Many politicians, nations, and individuals have…

Lies, Lies, and Videotape

(Washington, DC — January 25, 2017) – The “I’ll Say Anything That Has No Factual Basis” news tour continues at the White House, and it shows no signs of abating. White House Press Secretary of the Week Sean Spicer and The Skeletal Kellyanne Conway, Counselor to the President and Soulless Angel of Darkness and Death,…

First Inaugural Address of Chancellor Squirrelhead, Illegitimate POTUS

(Washington, DC — January 18, 2017) – The following is an advance copy of Donald Trump’s (R-NY) first inaugural address, which will be delivered to an audience of hundreds worldwide on January 20, 2017. It was obtained at great risk and at a great price; many Bothans died to bring us this information. My fellow…

A Taiwanese Parade We Did Nazi Coming

(Hsinchu City, Taiwan — December 28, 2016) – Students at Taiwan’s Hsinchu Kuang Fu High School chose to honor the school’s 62nd anniversary with a parade complete with uniforms, banners, and a bit of goose-stepping. For whatever reason, they did Nazi their choice would cause an international Führer. The theme – honoring Adolf Hitler –…

OPM Re-named as Second Data Breach Makes Feds Screech

(Washington, DC — July 10, 2015) – Swearing not to resign in the wake of revelations of a second data breach in as many months at the Office of Personnel Management (OPM), Director Katherine Archuleta did just that today. The first data breach, announced publicly on June 4, spilled the Personally Identifiable Information (PII) of…

Once More Unto the Data Breach

(Washington, DC — June 5, 2015) – Bruce Jenner’s transition to Caitlyn Jenner has been knocked off the front page of major newspapers. And it only took a massive hack attack to do it. The Federal government’s Office of Personnel Management (OPM) announced a massive data breach yesterday, compromising the Personally Identifiable Information (PII) of…

Chinese Officials Say “Phooey” to Hong Kong

(Beijing, China) – The weeklong pro-democracy protests in Hong Kong show no signs of abating. Authorities in Beijing show no signs of meeting the protestors’ demands. Protesters in Hong Kong show no signs of giving up, as the authorities in Beijing have demanded. By changing a few of these words to “Obama” and “Congress” and…