Trump’s New Plan: Embrace the Klan!

(Washington, DC — February 29, 2016) – As links between the Ku Klux Klan (KKK) and presidential candidate Donald Trump (R-NY) multiply, The Donald’s detractors are having a field day. So are pro-Klan Americans who don’t seem to mind that their chosen bigot is leading in multiple polls in multiple states leading up to tomorrow’s…

FDA Trans-Fat Ban Gets to the Heart of the Matter

(Silver Spring, MD — June 16, 2015) – The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) today announced a plan to finally ban trans-fats from the foods consumed by average, ordinary, everyday Americans. Predictably, not everyone was happy with the announcement. Trans-fats can clog arteries and cause a variety of coronary diseases. The FDA estimates that thousands…

Swiss Miss as Coffee Creamer Causes a Füehrer

(Zürich, Switzerland — March 24, 2015) – Switzerland’s largest supermarket chain, Migros, is causing quite a stir with its latest marketing campaign. Some might even say they’re causing a Führer. Migros finds itself apologizing for an “unforgivable blunder” related to – of all things – coffee creamers. The lids for the company’s coffee creamers –…

Shameful Enshrinement in Jersey City

(Jersey City, NJ) – Lawrence Campbell wanted to be famous. On Sunday, Campbell shot a rookie police officer, sealing his fame – and support from his community. The 27-year-old native of Jersey City – a fine residential area – entered the Walgreens drug store at Kennedy Boulevard and Communipaw Avenue, assaulted a security guard, took…