Trump Uses Electoral College to Combat Anti-Semitism

(Washington, DC — February 15, 2017) – At today’s press conference, standing side-by-side with Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, Donald Trump (R-NY) made two very important policy statements. Oy vey. Regarding the issue of peace in the Middle East, and specifically between Israelis and Palestinians, Chancellor Squirrelhead chose to eschew the two-state solution – a…

White House on Netanyahu Win: “Oy Vey!”

(Tel Aviv, Israel — March 20, 2015) – Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu was re-elected Tuesday, pulling off an impressive come-from-behind victory. Many attributed the victory to Netanyahu’s political experience and savvy. But for others, the numbers simply don’t add up. Netanyahu trailed his opponent, Isaac Herzog, up until the evening before Election Day. Desperately…

Congress Listens as Netanyahu Goes Nuclear

(Washington, DC — March 3, 2015) – Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu finally gave his long-awaited – and much criticized – speech to a joint session of Congress today. Make that 89% of a joint session of Congress. If the purpose of the speech was to warn Congress about Iran’s nuclear ambitions, cause a diplomatic…

White House Announces Retaliation for Netanyahu Congressional Address

(Washington, DC — February 25, 2015) – Calling the upcoming visit by Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu “destructive” to both Israel and the United States, the White House has announced its formal reply to the upcoming address. It’s perhaps not as destructive as an Iranian 20-megaton nuclear warhead slamming into Tel Aviv, but apparently it’s…

Delusions Deepen for Hamas on Day 13

(Gaza City, Palestinian Territories) – What happens when you ignore calls for a cease-fire that your enemy has already accepted? You absorb hundreds of hits from your enemy’s precision-guided munitions. What happens when you tell the civilians you’re sworn to protect to stay where they are, even though they’re staying in buildings which house munitions?…

Hamas Defeating Israel? You Gaza Be Kidding!

(Tel Aviv, Israel) – Seven days into the latest battle between Israel and Hamas, one thing is clear: terror is a two-way street. On the one hand, Hamas’ Islamic Fundamentalist minions have fired over 1,000 inaccurate rockets. They have been fired into all areas of Israel, including indiscriminate targets in major cities. Some have even…