Atlanta Burning

(Houston, TX — February 6, 2017) – The Atlanta Falcons suffered a 34-28 defeat yesterday at the hands of the New England Patriots in Super Bowl LI. It looks like Atlanta’s punishment is just beginning. The historic Super Bowl featured the greatest comeback in Super Bowl history (25 points; New England was down 28-3) as…

Electoral College Certifies First Illegitimate POTUS in American History

(Washington, DC — December 20, 2016) – The Electoral College yesterday failed to perform its Constitutional duty and instead certified Donald Trump (R-NY) as the winner of the 2016 presidential election. Grade for the 2016 Electoral College? FAIL! “The Electoral College has proven that every vote does not count,” said a legal expert from the…

Congress Listens as Netanyahu Goes Nuclear

(Washington, DC — March 3, 2015) – Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu finally gave his long-awaited – and much criticized – speech to a joint session of Congress today. Make that 89% of a joint session of Congress. If the purpose of the speech was to warn Congress about Iran’s nuclear ambitions, cause a diplomatic…

Shameful Enshrinement in Jersey City

(Jersey City, NJ) – Lawrence Campbell wanted to be famous. On Sunday, Campbell shot a rookie police officer, sealing his fame – and support from his community. The 27-year-old native of Jersey City – a fine residential area – entered the Walgreens drug store at Kennedy Boulevard and Communipaw Avenue, assaulted a security guard, took…

Kim Jong-Un: Dictator, Torturer, Murderer, and … Racist?

(Washington, DC) – American officials are used to being lambasted by North Korean leaders. The United States regularly finds itself at the receiving end of threats, taunts, and tantrums by the current dictator, Kim Jong-Un, especially every March because of the joint drills the American military conducts with South Korea’s military. But North Korea has…

US Exclaims “Criminy!” over Criminal Russian Crimes in Crimea

(Simferopol, Ukraine) – Just 10 days ago, Ukrainians protesting against the corrupt government of President Viktor Yanukovych took to the streets of Kiev, fighting Ukrainian police on Independence Square. Just eight days ago, pro-government snipers killed over 70 protesters. And just seven days ago, Yanukovych fled Kiev for the safety of his primary benefactor, Russia.…

North Korea Dismisses Report on Human Rights Abuses, Says Gulags are Really Spas

(New York, NY) – The United Nations (UN) has concluded that the government of North Korea is guilty of crimes against humanity. While North Korea’s reaction has been one of outrage, the rest of the world for the most part has simply answered with a “duh!” to the year-long investigation. Several countries accused the UN…