Giuliani: “September 11? What’s September 11?”

(New York, NY — August 15, 2016) – The man who became famous for walking around and mumbling “9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11 9/11” has now denied that the September 11 attacks ever happened. Psychiatrists and psychologists are now assessing who’s more insane, Rudy “9/11” Giuliani (R-NY) or presidential candidate…

A Bad Break for Toys “R” Us

(Wayne, NJ) – For years, parents and educators have demanded that children’s toys be educational as well as fun for all ages. Be careful what you wish for. Retail giant Toys “R” Us is now educating the youth of America about the world of drug cartels, including the buying, selling, and use of illegal drugs…

Shameful Enshrinement in Jersey City

(Jersey City, NJ) – Lawrence Campbell wanted to be famous. On Sunday, Campbell shot a rookie police officer, sealing his fame – and support from his community. The 27-year-old native of Jersey City – a fine residential area – entered the Walgreens drug store at Kennedy Boulevard and Communipaw Avenue, assaulted a security guard, took…

National September 11 Memorial Museum and Mausoleum Opens Today

(New York, NY) – At 9:00am, the National September 11 Memorial Museum opens its doors to the public. And it only took 12 years, 8 months, and 10 days to get here. The museum is meant to pay tribute to and honor the nearly 3,000 people who lost their lives during the September 11, 2001,…

2009 – End of an Error: FLATLINE Locates Original Version of President’s Farewell Address

(Washington, DC — January 15, 2009) – My fellow Armenians, For eight years, it has been my honor to serve as your President. I realize that I was only elected to serve four of them, but be honest, in retrospect, did you REALLY want Al Gore with his “lockbox” nonsense to live in the White…