Chancellor Squirrelhead Attempts to CAPITALIZE on His Iran Threats

(Washington, DC — July 23, 2018) – Chancellor Squirrelhead sought relief from a very bad week – during which he committed treason while outing his complicity in Russia’s rigging of the 2016 presidential election. So, late Sunday night, while relieving himself, he decided to target Iran. “It’s ironic – or maybe a bit sick –…

TREASON! Chancellor Squirrelhead Puckers Up for Perestroika Putie’s Patootie

(Helsinki, Finland — July 16, 2018) – After rupturing the NATO alliance, and after destroying the alliance between the United States and the United Kingdom, many expected Chancellor Squirrelhead to cozy up to Russia’s Perestroika Putie, thus hitting a trifecta. Mission Accomplished. In reality, anyone could have seen this coming from a mile away. At…

FBI Director’s Firing Was a Long Time Comey-ing

(Washington, DC — May 10, 2017) – October 20, 1973, is known for the Saturday Night Massacre. Thanks to Donald Trump (R-NY), May 9, 2017, will forever be known as the Tuesday Night Massacre. On October 20, 1973, President Richard Nixon (R-CA), neck-deep in the Watergate scandal, ordered the firing of Watergate Special Prosecutor Archibald…

Squirrelhead Blows Up Syria

(Washington, DC — April 7, 2017) – Facing a horrific attack by the Syrian government on its own citizens using banned chemical weapons, Donald Trump (R-NY) yesterday sent 59 Tomahawk cruise missiles into the war-torn country, deepening America’s involvement in Syria’s six-year-old civil war while practicing a level of hyperhypocrisy not previously seen in human…

National Insecurity

(Washington, DC — February 14, 2017) – Flynngate hit a fever pitch today following last night’s resignation of Michael Flynn as Donald Trump’s (R-NY) National Security Advisor after just 24 days on the job. And the mounting evidence shows him to be a real Flynn-Flan Man. Flynn had multiple contacts with Sergey Kislyak, the Russian…

First Inaugural Address of Chancellor Squirrelhead, Illegitimate POTUS

(Washington, DC — January 18, 2017) – The following is an advance copy of Donald Trump’s (R-NY) first inaugural address, which will be delivered to an audience of hundreds worldwide on January 20, 2017. It was obtained at great risk and at a great price; many Bothans died to bring us this information. My fellow…

Electoral College Certifies First Illegitimate POTUS in American History

(Washington, DC — December 20, 2016) – The Electoral College yesterday failed to perform its Constitutional duty and instead certified Donald Trump (R-NY) as the winner of the 2016 presidential election. Grade for the 2016 Electoral College? FAIL! “The Electoral College has proven that every vote does not count,” said a legal expert from the…