For Old Spicey, the Holocaust Was a Gas

(Washington, DC — April 11, 2017) – White House Press Secretary of the Week Sean Spicer today said that Adolf Hitler wasn’t quite as bad as Syrian President Bashar al-Assad. And he made this observation on Passover. Asshole. Old Spicey was referring to the April 4 attack by Droopy Dog on his own people; at…

Squirrelhead Blows Up Syria

(Washington, DC — April 7, 2017) – Facing a horrific attack by the Syrian government on its own citizens using banned chemical weapons, Donald Trump (R-NY) yesterday sent 59 Tomahawk cruise missiles into the war-torn country, deepening America’s involvement in Syria’s six-year-old civil war while practicing a level of hyperhypocrisy not previously seen in human…

Turtlehead Blows Up Congress

(Washington, DC — April 7, 2017) – Facing an unbreakable filibuster on Donald Trump’s (R-NY) choice for the next Supreme Court Justice, Senate Republicans yesterday chose to implement the “Nuclear Option” to ram through the nominee. The Senate is dead. Long live the Senate. The seat on the SCOTUS has been vacant since February 13,…

Trump Slams Terror in Saint Petersburg – No, the Other One

(Saint Petersburg, Russia — April 3, 2017) – A shrapnel-filled explosive device detonated today between two train stations in Russia’s Saint Petersburg, killing 10 and wounding more than 30. True to form, Donald Trump (R-NY) took to Twitter to share his misinformed and inappropriate musings just hours after the blast. The attack occurred on a…

In Atlanta, I Can’t Drive I-85

(Atlanta, GA — April 1, 2017) – A 700-foot section of Interstate 85 (I-85) in Atlanta buckled and collapsed from a fire on Thursday. The deliberately-set fire raged beneath an overpass during the evening rush hour, and the resulting damage is sure to cause months of headaches for the estimated 400,000 vehicles which use the…

Trump Budget Blueprint Steals from Meals on Wheels

(Arlington, VA — March 22, 2017) – The Trump 2018 Budget Blueprint will shift $54,000,000,000 from civilian programs to military spending, breaking the backs of the country’s middle-class and its most-needy. Neither Donald Trump (R-NY) nor the Republican-controlled Congress seems to care. “In providing tax breaks to corporations and the country’s millionaires and billionaires, the…

The Only Thing We Have to Fear is … Our Toasters?

(Washington, DC — March 14, 2017) – The Skeletal Kellyanne Conway opened another chapter in Wiretappgate on Sunday, offering a new theory about the scandal during an interview with the Bergen Record. And it’s doubtful that the Orange Menace could have come up with this one on his own – though it’s not impossible. On…