Reince Priebus
(R-WI)
(Washington, DC — August 3, 2016) – After days of negative news cycles regarding his party’s presidential candidate, Republican National Committee Chairman Reince Priebus is said to be livid.
Like he has a choice.
The negative news cycle has been in full swing since last Thursday, when Khizr Khan, father of slain Army Captain Humayun Khan, spoke at the Democratic National Convention in Philadelphia. A back-and-forth feud between Mr. Khan and Squirrelhead Donald has ensued ever since.
Adding to the negativity: Squirrelhead Donald yesterday announced he would support neither Speaker of the House Paul Ryan (R-WI) nor Senator John McCain (R-AZ) in their primary election bids:
- “I’m just not quite there yet. I’m not quite there yet.”
Paul Ryan
(R-WI)
“He doesn’t want to back Eddie Munster because he didn’t initially throw his support behind Squirrelhead Donald,” said a political scientist, speaking on condition of anonymity. “But he did come around several weeks after Squirrelhead Donald clinched the GOP nomination.
“As far as John McCain goes, well, slandering McCain was one of the first ‘outrageous’ things he did as a presidential candidate. He said McCain isn’t a war hero because he got captured. A funny thing for someone with five draft deferments to bring up.”
Many insiders don’t feel one ounce of pity for Priebus, who believe he made a deal with Mephistopheles in backing Squirrelhead Donald and is now paying the price.
“We’re supposed to believe that Priebus is upset about the Khan Affair?” asked a political strategist, speaking on condition of anonymity. “And Priebus is upset about the non-endorsements of Ryan and McCain? Small potatoes in the grand scheme of things.
Donald Trump
(R-NY)
“He wasn’t livid when he threw his support behind an anti-Catholic, anti-disabled, anti-Hispanic, anti-immigrant, anti-Muslim, anti-Semitic, anti-veteran, homophobic, hypocritical, misogynistic, narcissistic, pathologically lying, pro-Klan, psychopathic, racist, small-membered, sociopathic, treasonous, xenophobic bully? What a clueless [explicative] hypocrite!”
Some in the political arena believe the situation may bring Priebus to harm himself.
“It would be ironic if he did some sort of self-injury,” said a political insider, speaking on condition of anonymity. “He didn’t commit suicide over his mother naming him ‘Reince Priebus’ but he may commit suicide over the Trump nomination. And, unlike his naming, he’s got no one to blame but himself for the rise of Squirrelhead Donald.”
 |
FLATLINEgov 